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| The Death of Common Sense Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights I Want It Now Someone Else Is To Blame I'm A Victim Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing. | |
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Friday, 21 January 2011
An Ode to Common Sense
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Men the hunter gatherers women the homemakers cut your cloth accordingly.
ReplyDeleteOlder Than Dirt Quiz:
ReplyDeleteCount all the ones that you remember, not the ones you were told about.
Ratings at the bottom
1. Sweet cigarettes
2. Coffee shops with juke boxes
3. Home milk delivery in glass bottles
4. Party lines on the telephone
5. Newsreels before the movie
6. TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again in the morning.. (There were only 2 channels [if you were fortunate])
7. Peashooters
8. 33 rpm records
9. 45 RPM records
10. Hi-fi's
11. Metal ice trays with levers
12. Blue flashbulb
13. Cork popguns
14. Wash tub wringers
If you remembered 0-3 = You’re still young
If you remembered 3-6 = You are getting older
If you remembered 7-10 = Don't tell your age
If you remembered 11-14 = You're positively ancient!
In the same nostalgic vein...lol
I'm proud to say I remember 14, and I am definitely ancient!
ReplyDeletelol.. I never had a party line phone, but then we didn't have any phone when I was growong up!!!
ReplyDeleteI didn't have a phone until I was 42, but a friend whose Dad was a butcher did, and they had a party line, and sometimes had to wait ages before they could get on the phone.
ReplyDeleteI remember all except icetrays with levers - sounds like a good idea, but I never saw ice except on ponds till I was 23.Of course we had a telephone, not in our house,but at Otley's post office,serving all of upper Broadway and Dunsville, but we never used it because we didn't know how.We had daily milk and newspaper deliveries,and Mr Drury brought the weekly groceries on his horse and cart on Saturday mornings, and from 1934 there was a little shop at the top of the street where you could spend your threepenny bit,given to you for the sunday school collection, on toffees or peanuts.You only had two miles to run to get to Stainforth cinema for the tuppeny matinee on Saturdays. Did any of you see Rio Rita in 1929?Those were the days,why did I ever leave......
ReplyDeleteBut I'm told there is an Old Folks Home at the top of Broadway now. Anybody like to join me on the waiting list?
Oh dear, I just checked out the Older than Dirt Quiz and have to admit that I am positively ancient................but I still feel 21 years old...........what happened to all those years?
ReplyDeleteRonald Reagan was a box office draw at Stainforth cinema.
ReplyDeleteLabels are conceptual.
'Ronald Reagan, B actor, elected President.'
Reportage of acclaimed film actor Michael Douglas, 'Film actor Michael Douglas, heavy smoker, undergoes treatment for lung cancer.
Shirley Hemingway,77, old age pensioner.
BE CAREFUL Eileen.You'll have the Old Bill feeling your collar if you publish such anti-equality and reactionary thoughts.
ReplyDeleteOlder than dirt? I don't think so. We need a chronologic list that we can work down 'til we reach the point where our memories cease. For example-
ReplyDelete1. Coronation of Queen Elizabeth
2. Winter of 1947
3.V.J.Day
4 V.E. Day
5. Outbreak of war
6. ?
7. ?
8. ?
9.Death of Queen Victoria(I imagine that would be as far back as needed)
Feel free to add suggestions.
June, with respect to No.7 on your list above, I have a plant in my garden here in Toronto that grows vigorously each spring/summer and dies away to ratty brown remnants in the winter(it's -20 today). It's a herb called lovage and it gives a celery flavour to stews. It makes the best peashooters as you can cut a piece to suit your ammunition size. Hawthorne pips were preferred when I was at TGS but with lovage you can get the right bore to fire rice.
ReplyDeleteOur first phone was Rossington 380. Now we have a nine digit number for local calls.
When I lived with my grandparents on Doncaster Rd. in Armthorpe we had a mediaeval contraption for partially drying clothes called a mangle
We had a big mangle and a wash tub complete with peggylegs!
ReplyDeleteDidn't have a phone until 1973,,,,,our butcher had the phone number we gave in case of emergency at DRI!
I hear that when you get to a hunded years of age you have a 50% chance of living each succeeding year. Not bad odds,and improving as time goes on.
ReplyDeleteBeing old is one thing,remembering is another.Increasing capacity to forget is one of the refuges of old age.
I remember my first day at school in 1929,but I'd rather forget it and remember where I put down my glasses five minutes ago .
Do I really want to remember Edward 8th's pathetic abdication speech or Chamberlain blithering away about Peace in Or Time?
But I'm glad to recall Len Huttons 360 plus record,and the proclamation by N.W one of my two best friends that his little brother Keith,aged 0, had just arrived.